Family Reunions

Small reunion with Molly's niece and husband.

There was a blip on Facebook not too long ago mentioning that there seems to be less and less "family reunions" but more and more family reunions and meeting old friends at funeral gatherings.  Well, I must agree because I was notified of five deaths just this week and all the friends I ran into today at the visitation reminded me of the Facebook entry.

I really didn't want to go; I mulled over reasons, that I wished were valid, to explain my absence, if someone asked. There were errands to do, groceries to get and pharmacies to stop at. The drive, too, wasn't exactly a ten minute jaunt.

My sister has been a bug in my side telling me once that perhaps doing something may not necessarily be advantageous for me but by my action or presence others may be lifted up!  Ever think of how our actions, however big or small, can make another person's day!?

Well, the long and short of it is, I went to the visitation and wasn't alone in the line. I ran into a work acquaintance in the parking lot; at the end she thanked me for being her "date" during our time inside. I echoed the same sentiment!

It wasn't necessary that I knew the family, only the spouse. Looking around the church, one couldn't help but notice the line that was beginning to grow as more came in from outside. There were lots and more and more were coming.

So, at a family reunion it seems one and all come to celebrate life, love and laughter, with everyone bringing dishes to pass at the meal.  A funeral and visitation isn't much different, with the reality of tears and sadness mixed in.  Instead of dishes to pass we simply bring ourselves as we give our hugs, share tears and memories and mingle with family and friends. 

Sometimes it's hard to know what dish to bring for a family reunion, never giving conversation a second thought. At a funeral, however, lots of folks get all squirrely, not knowing what to say to the survivors. Doug Manning, a grief author, puts it pretty simply in his book, "Don't Take My Grief Away," with the "3 H's...Hug 'em, Hang Around and Hush."

So, anytime I find myself agonizing, I just remember the 3 H's when I meet family in a funeral line: hug 'em, just be there, and forget the fancy words. They will remember we were there and they'll know we cared enough to suit up and show up!  It works! That's it. 

If losses, of any sort, have challenged your spirit, spiritual direction may be just the refreshing hour that may help.  I can be reached at: 920.793.3530. I can see clients in either Two Rivers or Crivitz, WI. 

Web Page Update

Redemptorist Renewal Center, Tucson, AZ

This is an update for all who access my spiritual direction web page, "Molly's Third Chair," and have communicated with me through that site on MollyLaFond @MollyLaFond.com. It is no longer an active website nor email. After much consideration and realizing that most of my audience access my posts through Facebook, I have decided to use only Facebook for my spiritual direction posts. 

My posts will continue to be on Facebook:Third Chair Spiritual Direction and I can be reached at a new email address: ThirdChairSpiritualDirection@gmail.com.  Phone access is still the same: 920.793.3530.

I always appreciate your comments, as well as your phone calls for appointments for spiritual direction. I can see clients in either Two Rivers or Crivitz, WI. My rates continue to be $40/hr. however if this challenges your means, I will work within your budget. I don't want to deprive anyone of such a gift as spiritual direction! 

Thank you for your patience in this transition! 

Prejudice

As I sit here watching the world news, especially the massacre of Muslims in New Zealand, I can't help but wonder how anyone can have such hate in their heart. Where does all this prejudice come from?   To see the rise in white Supremacist shootings/deaths over the years it just makes me sick. There are groups all over the world that express hate and I guess there always have been but how does this touch you and me?

Have you ever experienced an incident where you needed to go to a neighbor's house and had to ask for help but couldn't get it?  It could be for any reason.  I have.  Neighbors down the road were home but would not open the door. At first I was angry, not understanding how someone would not open the door. This stance was my viewpoint because of an incident a few years ago...that is,  until a friend stopped by and immediately told me this neighbor operates out of fear. That helped me to see a different perspective! 

Our feelings are there but spurred by our thoughts. I needed a neighbor to simply share his thoughts to me. How often do various groups hang on to their thoughts with no willingness to get to know others, or get to know another person. 

Prejudice surrounds so much: people of color, religious differences, sexual/gender differences, even different heritages.  Too often our minds are made up and that's that! Then we end up acting out of these inner thoughts and feelings which are absolutely not accurate. These actions bring great harm to others and ourselves.

How can we open ourselves to a willingness to communicate and get to know others for who they are, not to operate out of preconceived notions? How can we see the similarities in others, not the differences?  How can we live in the solution, not the problem? 

Courtesy of Pixabay

The answer I come up with for myself is "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!" I need others, though, to keep challenging me with other perspectives when my own is not accurate.

My deepest condolences go to all those affected in New Zealand! Let us operate out of love, not hate. My prayers and thoughts are with you at this time.  It's a small, small world and all of us are affected by such horrendous acts.  Let peace begin with each of us.  God bless you! 

I am a spiritual director and have openings at this time in Two Rivers and Crivitz, WI.  If various world events are something that you would like an appointment to discuss can be reached at 920.793.3530. Spiritual direction is a wonderful arena in which to discuss every day happenings. 

Our Ears

A while back my sister, Deb, had talked to me about how so many folks think they could never become a "saint." She then explained how each of us can become saints, which was very interesting to me.  You would have thought this was a new idea but hearing it specifically, breaking it down into easy, every day actions really made sense. 

Now that we are just 2 days from Ash Wednesday, which is the beginning of Lent, we are reminded of the 40 days that Jesus withdrew into the desert before his crucifixion and finally Resurrection. Since my spiritual direction training, in the desert of Tucson, and remembering a saying in the chapel there, I have been pondering my own journey this lent. 

Getting back to what my sister said.  It is the small, everyday acts, one at a time, that make each of us holy. Holiness becomes accumulative for each of us. So, little by little, this is what I plan to do: Fast from hurting words, pessimism, bitterness, anger and selfishness. I will need to sit and ponder those times this has corrupted my day so I can figure out changes.  I want to be prayerful, fill my heart with joy and be silent so I can listen. A bit more time for mass, daily prayers and the rosary will help me to pause and reflect. 

Finally, to be conscious that:  "The desert will lead you to your heart where I will speak." This quote from Hosea meets all who enter the chapel at the Redemptorist Renewal Center and in the contemplative weeks I spent there God did speak to me.  Each Lent we each have that opportunity. How will each of us let the ears of our heart hear God these next 40 days?  Ash Wednesday this week invites you to begin that journey