I know I have thanked you personally for your support and presence for my husband's recent death and funeral but collectively I want you all to know what it does to a spirit to see your face, receive a hug and hear words of love and support, not to mention the memorials, cards and phone calls.
I need to confess how much I also learned in this whole process and that is that I didn't realize how much my own presence and personal expressions of sympathy mean. It is so easy to just write a note of support on social media; that's easy to let me off the hook! Now, I can see that even though I have not been able to look/read all the cards and notes yet, having a solid piece of paper in my hand means so much, even if at a later date to peruse and ponder.
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| Jerry & Carmel |
Yes, memories will come, tears will come. It's so easy now to think I am fine, which I am, but there's nothing wrong with the sadness, tears and tender heart that memories bring when it all comes. The time surrounding a funeral, with all its prep, out of town company, is quite a busy time...too busy to have many emotions.
Down time will come, memories and reflection will be there and I suppose the song in this bird won't be so chipper as I would like when these times hit. It's not a matter of "holding up," I don't think. It's probably just the natural way things are after someone you've been with for 47 years dies. And as Jerry said a few weeks ago, "Life is just the way it is!"
So, again, thanks for all your love, support, concern and care. I intend to stay on the side of gratitude of all I had with Jerry, trying not to feel sorry for myself for what I've lost. The past five years have prepared me for some of this change. I have indeed been blessed beyond belief; I wish I had journaled all the God incidents to share with you but suffice it to say that God's hand has been very present through this whole journey.
God bless each and every one of you, again, for your friendship!
