Family Reunions

Small reunion with Molly's niece and husband.

There was a blip on Facebook not too long ago mentioning that there seems to be less and less "family reunions" but more and more family reunions and meeting old friends at funeral gatherings.  Well, I must agree because I was notified of five deaths just this week and all the friends I ran into today at the visitation reminded me of the Facebook entry.

I really didn't want to go; I mulled over reasons, that I wished were valid, to explain my absence, if someone asked. There were errands to do, groceries to get and pharmacies to stop at. The drive, too, wasn't exactly a ten minute jaunt.

My sister has been a bug in my side telling me once that perhaps doing something may not necessarily be advantageous for me but by my action or presence others may be lifted up!  Ever think of how our actions, however big or small, can make another person's day!?

Well, the long and short of it is, I went to the visitation and wasn't alone in the line. I ran into a work acquaintance in the parking lot; at the end she thanked me for being her "date" during our time inside. I echoed the same sentiment!

It wasn't necessary that I knew the family, only the spouse. Looking around the church, one couldn't help but notice the line that was beginning to grow as more came in from outside. There were lots and more and more were coming.

So, at a family reunion it seems one and all come to celebrate life, love and laughter, with everyone bringing dishes to pass at the meal.  A funeral and visitation isn't much different, with the reality of tears and sadness mixed in.  Instead of dishes to pass we simply bring ourselves as we give our hugs, share tears and memories and mingle with family and friends. 

Sometimes it's hard to know what dish to bring for a family reunion, never giving conversation a second thought. At a funeral, however, lots of folks get all squirrely, not knowing what to say to the survivors. Doug Manning, a grief author, puts it pretty simply in his book, "Don't Take My Grief Away," with the "3 H's...Hug 'em, Hang Around and Hush."

So, anytime I find myself agonizing, I just remember the 3 H's when I meet family in a funeral line: hug 'em, just be there, and forget the fancy words. They will remember we were there and they'll know we cared enough to suit up and show up!  It works! That's it. 

If losses, of any sort, have challenged your spirit, spiritual direction may be just the refreshing hour that may help.  I can be reached at: 920.793.3530. I can see clients in either Two Rivers or Crivitz, WI.