Many years ago, as a hospice chaplain, I found myself in the home of a client whose wife was quite angry and rightfully so. I knew nothing of what I was walking into. A ball was in motion from previous visits and she let me have it, right between the eyeballs. I realized it was not I personally she was mad at but it was so hard to sit there.
Sit I did! I listened to every word she had to say. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't offer any rebuttal or excuses. It felt like I was there for about a hundred years but I wasn't!! At first she said she didn't want me to visit but she welcomed me to take a seat and didn't kick me out!
There was follow up I needed to do with her complaints, which I told her I would do. Communication was the biggest problem. This isn't the first time I found myself in the middle of anger. As an RN there were some instances in the ER and I always volunteered to be that staff to talk with the angry person; I could offer a listening ear, a calm demeanor and empathy when these occasions occurred.
I wonder how our issues today, especially in light of the riots, shootings, the election and the pandemic, could look if we all took a deep breath, quit blaming one another, and had a resolve to listen with empathy and compassion. Too, to take stock of words we use, is paramount! The violence has got to stop; enough is enough! Protests are one thing, but stoking flames of violence only escalates it all. Each one of us might try it with one another. It does work.
None of us could have guessed what we were walking into this year, this fall and continue to walk into. Comments and actions can hit us right between the eyeballs, too, taking us by surprise and we can find ourselves reacting quite violently or we can slow down, step back and respond in a healthy way instead of reacting aggressively with our words or actions. It's hard, but the rewards certainly help us to not "kill" one another with words, and maybe worse! Try it; this alternative may surprise you, too!
