Train Trestle

Recently, I met with a friend and his pastor to discuss funeral plans for the future.  It was a grand two hours together. The pastor and I were talking about some memorable experiences we had had.

I then shared how I did a graveside service, overlooking a river and train trestle.  The wife, who was suffering from dementia,  was a patient on the floor when her husband had died and even though I was called when he died, there was no conversation from her at all. No other family came that night.

The daughter wanted as minimal a service as possible and that was paramount.  I didn't even meet with them prior; it was a very strange situation, believe me!

Indeed, scripture readings were minimal, I had no words to offer under the circumstances...and just then, in the distance, a train went over the railroad trestle and blew its horn. The setting was very pastoral overlooking the river and hospital; the sounds were very soothing.

Courtesy of Pixabay

Something prompted me to ask, "does anyone have any words you would like to share?"  I got a very stern look from the daughter in great disapproval!

With that, the wife, with dementia, spoke up very peacefully, and exclaimed, "he would have loved this spot...and to hear the train whistle blow...he loved trains!"  These were the first and only words I heard her say!

That was the whole reflection, eulogy, whatever you want to call it. I would call it the divine spirit stepping right in and setting everyone straight that we can try real hard to control a lot but we may not be in charge!  I'm sure glad I was not in charge that day...one major funeral I'll never forget. Amazing what a train trestle can do!

Remember Her?

Courtesy of Etsy

 Many years ago during my chaplaincy days I had visited a nursing cohort's father who was dying in the hospital.  Her mom was there; sadly, she had an advanced stage of dementia. Since my own nephew had died I have always worn a circular neck medallion that says, "faith, family, friends." I had it on when I met her mom in the hospital that day. 

It was dead of winter; her dad died; and I made my way to the funeral home to attend the wake.  Of course, a blizzard was raging but you might say I had no brains in my head or I would have stayed home.  Nothing much stands in the way of me attending a funeral or visitation. 

I walked in to a scarce setting with the family lined up across the front.  For the time of evening, the place should have been filling up.  Her daughter met me as soon as I came in saying, "the deacon can't make it because of the weather, you can do the service?"  I don't know if it was a question or a statement! 

Of course I could do it; I really was happy to oblige but when she took me to meet her mom again, she said, "I'll introduce you but she probably won't remember you," which I figured too!

Well, as I bent over to take her hand with introductions, her daughter said, "mom, you may not remember Molly when she came in the room last week."  At that point, looking at my medal she said, "oh yes, you wore that when I saw you, "faith, family, friends." Oh, my! A very profound reality of this impact on her! 

I have a couple of stories like this and think to myself, "how will we be remembered?" What word, phrase, article of clothing, smile/gesture will make a person's day? Some windows of capability are often nearly closed, as in dementias, but we never know what crack of awareness will touch their heart!  How will each of us be remembered?

Electrical Cord

Courtesy of Pixabay

So many of you have commented on my posts, which I appreciate immensely.  Now, consider passing this along to your friends so they can be inspire. Thank you in advance!

Here's another true story. I recently have read that when we thank God for blessings received more blessings come our way. 

My neighbor is a "jack of all trades" and was going to secure an electrical cord behind our shrine. I was just going to put electrical tape on it.  In the middle of this little project I had to leave for an appointment.  I found a most unusual reality when I came home!

He had replaced more than one electrical wire, new plugs and even buried it all underground instead of letting it hang like it had been.  This was a completely professional fix, much more than I would ever have imagined!

Plus, during my "inspection" his wife said, "your statue of Mary needs a paint job...I will do that Monday!" She loves painting and refurbishing.  To think that this grotto that my husband's dad built in 1955 was getting a completely new going over has brought me to tears and more gratitude.  Yes, I had a little chat with God immediately and continue my thanks this morning.  

If situations like this have never happened to you, consider some quiet time to have a little "chat" with God, reflecting on what blessings, however small or great, have come your way. Open the eyes of your heart to take in what more comes your way when you least expect it. God is any everyday God and offers more awesome realities even more than fixing an electrical cord!