Reader's Digest

 Today I sat down and picked up the Reader's Digest, trying to read an article, when my three year old cat, Carmel, crawled down my shoulder, made his way into my arms and laid there, while I read and held him.  

In a few minutes he gently got up and crawled right back up my right side and laid over my shoulder, much like a baby would do. He just made himself at home over my shoulder, resting his head there. 

Well, what could I do but put my reading down, cuddle him and smile, telling him how cute and loveable he was.  He just let me hold him for the longest time. 

Well, of course thoughts came:  "I wonder if this is what God does to us? Gently laying in our lap while we are in the midst of things, calmly trying to get our attention? And finally, when we are willing to give him a bit of our time, telling Him how wonderful and loving He is and how we love Him...then continue what we were doing."  Yes, these were my thoughts. 

Then it came to me, in the most ordinary ways and times God finds ways to get through to us. Sometimes we are doing other things and not even aware of His presence...until we ARE aware of His presence.  My thoughts continue: "We should all take time to pick up the Reader's Digest more often!" God used my furball to reach me today!  Thank you, Carmel!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Light

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!  We are also in the middle of Hanukkah. Lots of "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" going around.  Lots of light in various forms. And then there is Ukraine and concerns with what Putin will do with all his threats of using nuclear arms. 

I think about how our freedom allows each of us to speak out loud, to express views without being murdered, to celebrate our religious traditions openly and many, many other things.  

Christmas brings many of us together and even if our families are at a distance there are many who look out for those who are "orphans" with no one with whom to celebrate. Sometimes the hours seem so long for those who are alone or in health facilities.  Their world feels so dark and bleak. 

Yes, the days bring busy-ness with company coming, baking, cooking and getting everything ready.  I have found, though, how much a simple phone call means to those who are widowed or single. It is amazing how that fills the caller's heart as well as the one being called.  These calls don't have to be long but to "reach out and touch someone" really is a gift that costs nothing but a few minutes of our time.  

Whether we are celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah we can bring the love that God or Jesus is all about. This is a light for each of us and yet, how do we become light to others? Jesus came in a barn and stable.  In our own humble surroundings we can bring love and light to our world, too, no matter where we are! This year we can bring God's very light by reaching out to someone in our life who will appreciate knowing we love them! A blessed Christmas and holiday season to you and yours!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Assists

Many of you probably don't need to read this post but I bet there are a few who might!  Have you ever felt like you were running "behind the ball" of life more times than not rather than being ahead of it?  Some may be so organized that even Christmas decorating is done before Thanksgiving is over...there is probably a word for this but I won't get into that!!

Lately, I have been trying real hard to get ahead of the ballgame in several areas.  Since I didn't get my taxes for 2021 completed until October I have been hard at putting things in order rather than waiting until the last minute.  It works!  All that's left is December's deductions and then wait for the 1099's or whatever comes at the end of the year. 

Another area that just got a good organizing was my pantry shelves!  With the help of a friend who loves organizing, they now get a regular pause to just gaze at how nice they look! 

The last area is my prayer life.  Yes, even that begins to take a back seat with situations that throw a curve ball.  With the recommendation from a couple of sources I have several prayer books with a variety of readings and reflections I can use to stay on track with the time of year and church calendar.  It sure helps.  

You know, we have all sorts of "assists" in our life.  Think of it:  a cane, wash machine, electricity, car washes,...so why not use other assists in other areas?  Why not find someone to help with the clutter...all kinds of clutter.  Physical, emotional and spiritual. 

Sometimes we just need the resource of another person. That person might have an idea that could offer an immense helpful way to assist.  It sure helps!  Where is your clutter in life and what resource might help you? 

Courtesy of Pixabay

Giving is Receiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I have written several posts on gratitude and my heart continues to swell with thanks for family, friends and all those who have lifted me up with love this past year, especially the last eight months since my husband, Jerry, died. 

It has amazed me how, by helping others, it comes right back full circle.  Being hunting season I knew it was time to pass Jerry's hunting clothes and winter coats on to a better home.  A friend who had grown kids took it all, only to outfit many people.  This included not only her kids but the homeless. 

Yes, I may "see" Jerry around town if I run into those who are getting good use out of warm clothes. It is amazing to be so grateful that someone was able to use and share belongings that I no longer have need for!!!

Just imagine if each of us cleared out stuff and shared it with the less fortunate!  Giving is one thing but as we give, we receive such a sense of satisfaction because of how it lifted them up! There is so much each of us could give:  clothes, money, food, time/attention, the list is endless.  Our imagination is our oyster!

So, a blessed Thanksgiving to each of you and your family.  May you be blessed and may you continue to bless others with the gift you become to each and every life you meet!  

Courtesy of Pixabay

 

One Person

Ever wonder what to be grateful for? Each and every one of YOU! Most days I don't think much about it but then all of a sudden, after I see a slew of names that read my post, along with comments, I suddenly realize that perhaps even being only one person that indeed I am doing some good. Today, YOU are that one person.

Sometimes we measure ourselves with yardsticks that we fail to live up to, by-passing all the other measurements that others see us by. Often it's the "doing" tasks that trip us up that we might think we have not done good enough. Then I think of my aunt who couldn't walk, navigate on her own and sometimes even talk. 

When asked how she kept going through it all she said, "I just try to be kind, smile and be gracious...they are working so hard." Oh my! No fancy job nor position, no following of friends on Facebook, no computer nor cellphone; was a patient in an infirmary and needed complete care. Kindness was her legacy! 

How many of us don't give ourselves enough credit for the "little things." What strengths, gifts and inner resources do each of us have that could be our legacy...something immaterial, something from our insides, our spirit, our heart of love? Ponder that a while.

We are only one person but how profound that can be!! I am so very grateful for the person you are to me, like air beneath my wings! And thank you to all who read my posts, comment and share them...it means there might be a legacy in things I am writing for you!   

Courtesy of Pixabay

 

Cling Tight

 Yes, everyone knows what month this is, with Thanksgiving coming next week. Reality hits that winter is really coming. Watching it snow right now affirms that, for sure.  Leaves still cling tight to the maple tree like many of us want to cling tight to thoughts of warm weather!

We are all a bit like those leaves, aren't we?  Needing to put on warmer clothes and putting away light, summer wear, it saddens my heart to have to change the wardrobe. Hang on all we want but cuddle duds sure come in handy!

Dreams have a way of bringing those long dead into a picture that make it seem they are right here with us...we hate waking up which shakes us back into reality. Hanging on to such pleasant thoughts eventually thins as the day wears on. 

It's a balance, hanging on, letting go, staying the same or changing.  I wouldn't even realize that the maple tree still had leaves on it unless I was sitting here "pondering".  How often do each of us take some time to ponder our own spirit, our own hangings on and letting goes.

Watching those leaves fight the wind on the maple tree as they try to cling tight brings another perspective to a busy life. "Too busy, too much to do's'. Taking this time is not wasted time; it does the spirit good. Try it; let me know if it was beneficial.  The benefits may do your spirit good, too! 

Courtesy of Pixabay

Gratitude Month

November is typically referred to as "gratitude month" in the 12 Step recovery circles.  This is one of my most favorite topics; I have found the benefits of being grateful, also. 

Tonight I am blessed to have been asked to be the presenter to the NAMI association in Manitowoc, Wi.  They want the topic to be gratitude. When focusing on things we are grateful for it is hard, and nearly impossible to focus on the other side of the coin. 

Yes, there are two sides to any coin, heads and tails, and sometimes the tails side of life are really challenging, difficult, upsetting and downright nearly impossible. However, one might wonder what there is to be grateful for? 

Beginning with the smallest of things, even the smallest of things, our list can grow.  Making it a daily habit, over time, reaps its rewards.  It's amazing that it even makes changes in our brain. It was surprising to me just to read this fact but looking back over several years in my own life it seems to be true. 

There is so much this topic offers and I invite you to research it for yourself.  It is such an interesting topic and not just an empty word.  

Being grateful, expressing our thanks, appreciation and gratitude brings rewards we could never imagine.  Ways to do it are enormous, not just with words, but actions.  It's amazing and it seems to have an effect that is hard to imagine.  

So, I am so excited to be at the NAMI group this evening; expressing appreciation is a two way street.  The giver gets as much as the receiver, believe me!  I can't wait!  

Invite

What:     Presentation on gratitude

When:    Monday Nov. 7, 2022 

Where:   Painting Pathways clubhouse 1226                            Washington St. Manitowoc, WI

Time:      6:00 pm.

Presenter: Molly LaFond, Spiritual Director and                         retired hospital chaplain. 

The public is cordially invited to attend. Molly is a regular presenter for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Her background includes a variety of experiences which include: nursing, chaplaincy, grief support, recovery issues, group facilitator and public speaking. She presently is a spiritual director.

Hope to see you there!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Bad News

 What do you do when you receive "bad news"? What do each of us do with a heavy burden? I think back to many individuals in my family who have made that call to inform us.  Sometimes there were warnings up to that point, waiting on tests, so when the final verdict came it wasn't exactly a huge shock.  However, when the definitive news comes there are future "what ifs" that go through our mind.

What is the prognosis?  How much time is left, what must be done before incapacitation sets in? Who and how will care be given?  Even, how will I die?  My stomach churns thinking about all these scenarios.

There is the flip side of the coin that offers hope especially in "progress" that has been made in certain areas and specialties.  Also, knowing individuals who have lived years and actually improved gives one some hope, even in diagnoses that have no cure.

One of my best friends readily says she should have been dead thirty years ago and thinks her survival is directly related to prayer.  I agree. Personally, knowing others will and are praying for us often lifts one up; often our spirit becomes weary that we ourselves just cannot pray. Thank God for those faithful friends who say, "I will pray for you!"

Yes, there are times we all have received bad news and some days the news doesn't stop. Maybe our challenge is to let the cat out of the bag, let the whole world know so they can pray for our cause.  Who knows, that awful news may just respond to a new treatment and prayers of others.  I continue praying for those in need.

Thoughts

 

A friend of mine passed this along to me suggesting it might be a good thought for this blog.  I agree!  My first thought is: "If others only knew what was really going in my mind..." 

Recently an acquaintance of mine called, all frazzled telling me something that was tipping her upside-down.  She explained the whole story, giving me "facts"; so I thought.  I simply asked how she had come onto those facts.  Her reply: "I figured it all out myself!" 

There are times we jump to conclusions that really end up being incorrect. That is our thinking. Remembering a math class taught me that...coming to an answer that was absolutely incorrect but the "logic" that I used did bring me to that answer...however, wrong! 

Until my friend followed up to actually get the real facts she would continue to swirl and make herself sick with worry. All those thoughts are like salt on automobiles...they rust and eventually fall apart! Our negative thoughts just erode our peace of mind away slowly but surely. Isn't it amazing how sometimes our outsides don't match the insides...until we do a bit of censoring, filtering and thinking or even seeing a picture!                            

It is so nice to have a trusted friend, spiritual director or someone to bounce things off of, who will give us feedback, but the trick is to listen and ponder;  our own thoughts may need some tweeking.  Prayer often can set us on a better course...that still small voice that each of us has perhaps is a divine compass.

So, when we would rather not expose our inner thoughts to the whole world, it is very safe to be in an atmosphere with a person who makes it safe to share our inner selves.  It really is amazing to have someone help us to not "believe everything we think."

PS

 PS. I need a favor in order to access some stats for my blog. I know some of you hesitate to "share" or forward a post however, would those who are able please forward the last post of my blog to your friends (the one with the fish pic).  I am soooo close and need only a few more numbers. Thank you in advance! Molly P.S.S.  Thank you very much!  It worked!

Balance

Labor Day weekend is only a memory now.  The town was swarming with vacationers hoping to get the last of a long weekend of play in before school and "real life" hit the calendar. Company was coming so some tasks had to be done before that. 

The summer was hot, windy and really not conducive for a whole lot of outside work, especially when it got into the 90's. However, toward the end of August things turned around and my freezer now has a few fish in it to treat company! Don't know about you but "balance" comes to mind... to not spend the whole day or week working but finding some time to play, too. 

I find that often what really is work I can call play because I enjoy the task so much but if I think with a mind of a child, what would a child do to play?  Then the mind goes to going out in the rain or jumping in puddles or using big chalk to make hopscotch squares on the sidewalk...or fishing! 

So, even though the official end of summer is here, how can each of us continue to find time to take a holiday, vacation or snippets of time to play and relax?  Think of a teeter-totter...it's about balance...not all work and not all play!

19" Smallmouth

This past week refreshed the spirit having two sisters visit for several days!! My sister and I were able to fish one day; it was productive even though they weren't on the line with every cast! So, hopefully your memories of the last few days of summer make you smile, too!  

Front Door

 In my post, "Doing Nothing" you might recall all the updating I did this summer.  A couple of weeks ago I was so happy it was all finished, until my carpenter's dad came over and made a comment about what poor shape the living room door and trim around it was.  I could have sunk into the floor! My day was so sunshiny, now it became dark, overcast and just about rained!

Crummy Old Door

When the carpenter pointed out a few things on the door, that it was only covered in paneling and no insulation I could see how wise it would be to install a new one but of course there is always a domino effect, too.  You know, it's not just one thing but other things that now need attention. 

This domino effect now included chasing to the store for a new door, paint for it as well as the old screen. It meant I needed to plane the wood for the trim around the door.  Thank goodness there was enough polyurethane for the finish.  The final domino effect occurred when the table saw quit and the cutting couldn't be finished.

New Front Door

So, more time, more adjustments and with a couple of paint smudges some touch-ups down the road will complete it all. To top it off, I'm not quite sure what to do with a table saw that doesn't work...get a new one or would someone take it just to have a project of tinkering with it?  I don't know. 

All I know is that my two sisters are coming up this next week and I am proud as a peacock that all this refreshing is done!  Plus, the grass is growing and with strict orders, "don't mow, I'll do it when I come up...I love to mow!"  Sisters are wonderful!

Life and all its nuances happen for a reason. If we focus only on the individual details and happenings we could become very discouraged and despondent but after some time the bigger picture emerges  and a wonderful picture eventually takes shape. 

There are many different colors in that picture and often with many blacks, browns and dark areas but they are not the whole picture. Trusting the divine Picturemaker, whoever that is for each of us, can help us get through those dark times. It has me; how about you? PS. I talk to that Picturemaker quite often;  I think that certainly helps, too!

Generosity & Availability

The other day a friend called me asking for a "favor" of taking her to an out of town car dealership; she needed another vehicle after totaling her car a few weeks ago because of an unfortunate accident.

Yesterday was the day. We started out early and didn't get home until mid-afternoon; she found another car and was able to drive it off the lot!

Have you ever said to yourself, "what will I be when I grow up?" I have many times and now being in a new chapter of my life, I have been wondering what this next chapter will look like.

Then I look back to this past several months: several friends have needed rides to out of city places.  I have a very efficient vehicle, like to drive and have the time. It has all worked out and I feel wonderful about being available when asked. It seems that being a "private Uber driver" is a pretty good thing to do, even if there is no pay involved except maybe lunch or supper! 

Actually, "being available", being "generous" with one's time is pretty honorable.  Yes, there are plenty of places to volunteer on a regular basis but when life is on the "irregular" path, this works out for some just fine. 

So, if you ever wonder what you will do in the next chapter of your life, there are many ways to show your availability and generosity, even if you are infirmed inside.  There's always the computer, the phone or your hands.  It just takes a little imagination to figure it out. 

Even when there is not much left of your personal resources, there are always prayer chains to connect with;  pray-ers are always needed and there are many causes that need and want our prayers.  Think about it! Then, do it! Share your generosity and availability.

"Doing Nothing"

 I know I have been absent for some weeks "doing nothing."  Actually, my time was spent updating a kitchen floor, painting the kitchen, painting (after drywalling) two living room walls and finally cleaning, washing windows and putting up curtains. And then there's yardwork. 

These activities all began with an unexplained damaging event to the siding, paneling inside and 2x4 board in the wall. This happened right after Thanksgiving. Besides that, my husband was declining.  I was certainly besides myself for awhile.  "Who do I call, what do I do, now what??"

And then when I look in only one direction I get disappointed. My plan to do more fishing this spring/summer was thwarted because of wind and weather.  Hopefully, the rest of the summer will be more fruitful. I know my expectations interfered with my peace of mind a bit so maybe the summer isn't lost after all.

I would like to avoid situations that challenge my peace but try as I might, it doesn't always work out that way.  Case in point:  a second flat tire on my new car this past week, as I was driving to an 8:00 a.m. meeting! Yes, the same tire as earlier in the summer. 

So, I took it to the same place that fixed it the first time, of course, missing my meeting.  The beauty of it all though was he was open and took me right in.  He didn't want to charge me but it gave me an opportunity to donate to a cause of his that I had wanted to support. 

Again, I am reminded to be grateful and "count my blessings" one more time.  One big blessing was in the form of a college friend helping me put up curtains. I was also able to paint the upper part of the kitchen while she was there, for safety sake, in case I fell!

Other blessings with the wall damage were refreshing the looks, changing wall colors, a new stove and new flooring.  It certainly was a domino effect but it was a good thing! With a suggestion from neighbors I also changed furniture around. A whole new look now!

It really is hard to imagine the positive that can come from an event or situation; there are many of life's challenges that are tragic and awful and many years can occur for the silver lining to be found. 

So, when I think I am doing nothing but "eating bon bons and watching TV, acting like I am on vacation it may not be so!  A flat tire, damaged siding and a cracked wall are nothing compared to some things that some of you have or are encountering. 

How have you been blessed because of it, in spite of it...what strength have you found beyond yourself that gives you some peace, hope and encouragement to go on? Faith, family and friends do it for me.  What about you?  

"Just for Today!"

 Yup, "How are you?" is a question I have been asked many, many times in the past two months? I wonder, "How am I supposed to be: sad? feeling sorry for myself? in a heap of tears?"  I really don't know but I read something today that being happy is a decision. And I have made that decision! This is "just for today!"

My past plays a huge part in this decision. I have had two motivators in my life:  my mom and my sister in law; both are at opposite ends of the spectrum of coping after their spouse died. One sat on the couch, refused offers to "go", the other never declined any invite.  Observing the difference was like night and day.  

Yes, I can tap into sadness, loneliness, tears or depression but I would rather have more energy and be happy. It's a decision.  Activities, friends, phone calls, meaningful appointments with my spiritual direction business...it all gives me meaning and purpose in my day and life.

Yes, age creeps in and some of my friends have health challenges, which concern me,  but for today "there is nothing major going on" is a mantra that helps me stay in the present.  Just for today.  Tomorrow is a different day but all I have right in front of me is today!  

  

Sow...not Sew

We never know what good we are sowing in this world.  Ever think about that? Sometimes we think of what we may reap but how about what we sow. This is not the same as sewing a hem...it's much bigger! Words we say, people we call, cards we send, gestures of good will, the ways are unlimited to sow and make the world a better place.

My best friend today just shared what she told her M.D. after the doctor asked how she was able to maintain such a positive attitude, in spite of numerous, frequent and challenging healthcare issues.  Well, she shared that her best friend's phone calls cheer her up and make her laugh. 

That amazes me because that has never been my purpose with my phone calls; usually the calls come out of my own need to connect with someone. Lo and behold we are really helping one another! Sometimes, little do I realize how my action helps someone else!

This all makes me think of my little garden when I plant seeds in the spring.  I never know if or how the bean plants or tomatoes will produce.  I just plant. And results are not immediate...it all takes time.

Most of us have been told that every action has a reaction. That in itself sounds good but how often to we hear, see or experience the reaction? Have any of you been told directly what good you could do with a simple action of "showing up" someplace that you would rather have not attended.  Seeing a situation from another perspective can certainly help us to see life from the other side; it can even bring some meaning and purpose into our life.

So, who would ever think that indeed there is much good being sown with our actions:  a simple phone call, a card or a kind gesture.  When a person asks us to consider a gesture that we may originally balk at, with this new perspective, we may think twice because of the good it may do.  Remember, for every action, there is a reaction!   And any good that we can do... 

Courtesy of Pixabay

Time

 Have you ever experienced your life being changed in a way that you sit and ponder your time?  Time in a day, a week, a year; what will you do to make time meaningful, not only to yourself but to others? Sometimes, with more time on your hands you end up doing "nothing" rather than feeling productive and useful? 

There are certainly days when we all wish we had more time, that there seems to be too much on our "plate". That happens probably to all of us but I'm speaking in a sense of finding meaning and purpose with our time, not just doing "busy" stuff.

Yes, now I have "time" to open my schedule to do more spiritual direction, taking more clients. And the way Covid brought some benefits, distance is no longer of concern with online capability with Zoom, Messenger or Duo, making it seem like a 1:1 personal appointment. 

I know personally the benefit of spiritual direction and those who seek it for themselves also know that benefit of being able to talk with a trained spiritual director so if you or someone else would like to consider it, certainly call to set up an appointment, (920.793.3530). 

We can each find meaning and purpose in our day, no matter what our circumstances.  Many of my friends have found volunteering to be very rewarding, now that they have retired or have become widows/widowers. Yes, circumstances change, of which some may fight it, but there still is opportunity to find meaning and purpose with our time!  If time hasn't run out for you, maybe it's time!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Pass it On!!

Yes, pass it on! Let me explain. What is life all about?  I look around taking stock of all that I have.  Yes, lots of things but then I wonder how they all came to be plunked right into my lap. I have been so blessed! 

Lately, in the past year to be specific, so many blessings opened up to me it would take quite a bit of time to share all the stories. I have shared many of those stories with some of you and each time I end of shaking my head in amazement.

The other day, the next door neighbor came over, sharing some things she is challenged with because of a horrible accident her husband was in over the winter. 

As she was telling me how she was working with him, a lightbulb went off in my head to share a piece of equipment that my husband had bought himself trying to help his own circulation.  It has sat and sat, doing nobody any good.  My procrastination simply had not acted yet, finding it a good home.

So, there it was, the possibility of a new home just waiting for it to go there.  She was ecstatic; so was I. It was doing nobody any good where it was, and it could possibly do her husband some good with his therapy and circulation.  I sure hope so. 

So, I continue to ask myself, for what purpose is my life during the next chapters? The answers aren't clear just yet but each day, with my eyes wide open, little miracles keep happening. I'm sure that divine being will continue to guide me and let me know.  When I have been so blessed in so many ways, I think it behooves me to share those blessings with the next person. Any good that I can do...  

Courtesy of Pixabay

Hopefully, I can continue to simply "pass it on" whatever that "it" is. 

The "W" Club

The past five weeks or so have been new to me, having joined the rank of "widowhood" since my husband, Jerry, died March 11, 2022. This is a designation I figured would come to me first but it still isn't easy to know I am a member of this group.

Grief has always been an interest to me, having facilitated groups for twenty-four years but now I find myself questioning if I am "doing it right" because it doesn't seem too challenging at the moment. There are lots of variables that influence this journey so knowing how long he was struggling, his age and a few other things certainly affect my own journey.

I have had many years to contemplate these times.  Many years ago a good friend even asked, "have you ever thought about..." this and that associated with an aging husband, of which I certainly had. 

When I hear others whose spouse succumbed to a tragic illness, is young or died tragically, I simply can not imagine that adjustment. As hard as it was all these years watching my husband decline so dramatically, I have come to the conclusion there is a "gift" in that suffering, for both sides.  

He couldn't have been more at peace and neither could I. Watching the suffering linger was so hard to observe. There were so many blessings during his last days it would take a few chapters to share it all. 

I know many others who are in the "W" club, too, and yet their journey is completely different from mine; each membership is unique. There are some similarities and those specifics will come to light with time but right now I am just beginning to realize what this new chapter is all about. 

Thank you too, for all those friends and acquaintances who have shared condolences in any way.  It warms my heart. 

Courtesy of Pixabay

Thank You!

 I know I have thanked you personally for your support and presence for my husband's recent death and funeral but collectively I want you all to know what it does to a spirit to see your face, receive a hug and hear words of love and support, not to mention the memorials, cards and phone calls. 

I need to confess how much I also learned in this whole process and that is that I didn't realize how much my own presence and personal expressions of sympathy mean.  It is so easy to just write a note of support on social media; that's easy to let me off the hook!  Now, I can see that even though I have not been able to look/read all the cards and notes yet, having a solid piece of paper in my hand means so much, even if at a later date to peruse and ponder. 

Jerry & Carmel

Yes, memories will come, tears will come.  It's so easy now to think I am fine, which I am, but there's nothing wrong with the sadness, tears and tender heart that memories bring when it all comes. The time surrounding a funeral, with all its prep, out of town company, is quite a busy time...too busy to have many emotions.

Down time will come, memories and reflection will be there and I suppose the song in this bird won't be so chipper as I would like when these times hit. It's not a matter of "holding up," I don't think.  It's probably just the natural way things are after someone you've been with for 47 years dies. And as Jerry said a few weeks ago, "Life is just the way it is!" 

So, again, thanks for all your love, support, concern and care.  I intend to stay on the side of gratitude of all I had with Jerry, trying not to feel sorry for myself for what I've lost.  The past five years have prepared me for some of this change.  I have indeed been blessed beyond belief; I wish I had journaled all the God incidents to share with you but suffice it to say that God's hand has been very present through this whole journey. 

God bless each and every one of you, again, for your friendship! 

Live Stream

 My husband's funeral, Jerry LaFond, for those unable to attend in person, will be live-streamed.  Go to "St. Peter the Fisherman Catholic parish, Two Rivers, WI" and you should find it there.  The service will begin at 1100hrs. today March 23, 2022.

Thank you for all who have sent cards, offered assistance and called me with your care and concern, for those who have brought food and offered with "anything you need." Thank you, too, for family and friends who have come from a distance to be here personally.  Words and actions of love have warmed my heart beyond compare!

One question that has been repeated, "How are you?"  My reply, "I know I am not tracking clearly, but I have not 'lost my marbles...they are just rolling to one side!"  And "all the dots are not connecting." It is hard to realize I have joined the club called "widowed." There is nothing like a personal experience to really understand what others in this boat have gone through.

So, I await family and friends to arrive in a few hours and have more to do so will cut this short.  May God bless and keep all of you! Thank you for being my friend during this time. 

Jerry LaFond Obituary

 Gerald (Jerry) LaFond, a lifetime resident of Two Rivers, WI died after a lengthy journey of deteriorating health. His latest challenge occurred St. Patrick’s Day 2021, when he endured a leg amputation because of circulation issues.  

Jerry was a bachelor for many years, being “mother-father-brother and sister” to his two brothers, Billy and Howard.  They all lived in the family home until September 1975 when he married the love of his life, Molly Longstreth. They would have celebrated forty-seven years of marriage September 20, 2022.

Jerry was a foreman at Hamilton Industries in the steel plant for all of his working years, retiring in 1992. After he retired he spent all the time he wanted  in his workshop, which he loved, especially since his dad, Urban (Julia Goeler) LaFond, guided him in woodworking and making just about anything.  Jerry was so handy and made many pieces of furniture over the years as well as remodeling many aspects of the family home. 

Jerry was an avid hunter and both he and Molly loved to fish and travel, especially out west.  Going to the Black Hills Buffalo Roundup several years ago was a highlight but Yellowstone was also a favorite. A favorite memory of his was the last time with his brother, Howard, after a planned hunting trip to Wyoming fizzled. With every deer antler he had in his shop he could tell you the story of each one. 

He was a quiet guy but was like a magpie if he got on the topic of the Great Lakes fishing, especially knowing what fisherman operated which fish tugs.  His dad and uncles were all fishermen out of Two Rivers on Lake Michigan. Once on a trip to Charlevoix, MI, he knew his dad’s tug was there somewhere so asked at the local fish store.  He found it on land and went and spoke to the owner who updated him on it’s recent history. He was in seventh heaven!

He loved the fact that the LaFond family was one of the main families that was among the early settlers of Two Rivers.  To be an “East Sider” was a badge of pride and to live anywhere else was a sacriledge to him!  He lived on the East Side and wanted to die on the East Side.  

When he moved permanently to Shady Lane Nursing Home in 2019, he shared with Molly that the hardest part was leaving the shrine his dad built in their yard, dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. He and his dad gathered stones all around the Great Lakes for it as they traveled in the 1950’s.  It is lit at night so passersby can see it. He had a deep devotion to the Virgin Mary, praying the rosary every day of his life. He hopes in the future, after Molly moves out, that whoever lives there next will cherish it as much as he did. 

His sister, Catherine, just died March 6, 2022.  His two brothers, Bill and Howard also preceded him in death many years ago.  Catherine’s daughter, Annie, preceded him Dec. 12, 2021.  Survivors include Catherine’s children: Michael (Melissa) Bruce, Mark Bruce, Terry (Cissy) Bruce and Julia (Howie) Jansen.  A special cousin, Claudia Halonen also survives. His in laws include Molly’s siblings: Debby Michael, Sheri (Judd) Knecht and Dan (Kathy) Longstreth as well as Trish Longstreth, a sister-in-law. Three of Molly's siblings:  Ann Weaver, Tim Longstreth and Susan Hayes preceded him in death.  Great nieces and nephews also survive.

Mount Rushmore

When reading an obit most folks check out the age, “how old were they?”  Well, no age is given here because Jerry would readily tell you if asked, “Today I’m the oldest I’ve ever been!”  Another thing he said recently to Molly when they were talking about the years gone by and sadness of his impending death was, “Well, life is just the way it is!”  

Funeral services will be  next Wednesday, March 23, 2022 at St. Peter the Fisherman Catholic Church, Two Rivers, WI with visitation beginning at 0900 hrs. ending at Mass time at 1100 hrs.  DejaMartin Funeral Home is assisting with arrangements. Donations are appreciated to: Sharon Richardson Community Hospice, Sheboygan Falls, TREP (Two Rivers Ecumenical Panty) Two Rivers or the Manitowoc Humane Society, Manitowoc, WI, or a charity of donor’s choice.  

Nieces and nephews, who referred to him as “Uncs,” will have a hole in their heart as will the rest of family and friends, missing him, his wisdom, memories and stories.   Jerry, you have left a wonderful legacy of gentleness, love and faith that we will never forget.  Thank you for it all!  Now, enjoy good health with all your family.

A huge  "thank you" to the Sharon Richardson Community Hospice and the staff at Shady Lane Nursing Home for the  good care given him.  Also, to friends who were so faithful in calling and visiting, especially Bob Bielke, and those from the gun club!  

An old Two Rivers fish tug somewhere in Upper Michigan

Mary, The Undoer of Knots

https://udayton.edu/imri/mary/u/untier-of-knots.php

Many Christians, especially Catholics realize how important the Blessed Virgin Mary is and how she points everything to her son, Jesus.  We pray, asking her to intercede for us, to Jesus.  

One of her titles is, "Mary, the Undoer of Knots." The above reference explains the history of this devotion.  The prayer to Mary, the Undoer of Knots is:

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exists in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exist in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the Evil One himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot: [Mention your request here] I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope. O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

What is happening in Ukraine is probably terrorizing many of us, especially with the thought of a nuclear war.  Prayers are powerful and I personally have prayed the above prayer for knots in my own life, with marvelous results. 

I offer it to you for your own prayer life.  For those who have objections, please respect those who will appreciate this prayer.  If you don't understand this theology, that's OK.  But I ask, what can it hurt...we need all the help we can get and war is NOT the answer. Please forward it to others; this world needs all the prayers it can get right now.  God bless you!

Courtesy of Pixabay

 

A Very Powerful Prayer

 "Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen."

February 14

Ever have someone (or some thing) insist on loving you, no matter what?  Well, here I sit at my computer trying to print something and my furball, Carmel, insists on crawling up on my lap, which I normally welcome however, it's hard to type! 

I have tried encouraging him to crawl on the back of the chair but he goes limp, right into my lap, then he lays right down across my lap.  So, here I sit, trying to work around him.  Then I chuckle!

I looked at the calendar, and sure enough, in a couple of days Valentines' day will be here. A call from my husband validated this when he said, "do you know what the date is...time is sure flying by!"  That is a great comment, often not a welcomed one, but in the dead of winter it means spring is coming soon! (Even if Groundhog's day was a disappointing prediction!)

So, my heart opens at the reality that Valentines' day is around the corner.  Who is your valentine or special person(s) in your life. Life is short.  How will you express your love and appreciation. There are many ways, not just snail mail, not only flowers or candy but a visit, a kind gesture or phone call.  It can be special in so many ways.

So, Carmel stayed on my lap, I have worked around him and I realize a warm coat on my lap warms the cockles of my heart, too. In a few days, though, I will be spending some special time with someone I love and appreciate...my Valentine! What about you?Happy Valentines' to you and yours, too!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Be Light

Were you "light" to someone today? Some days I really feel inspired, seeing the hand of God in many directions; other days, not so inspired. No matter what, we can still bring light into our day, in the smallest of ways.

The day sometimes feels very mundane, only putting one foot in front of another. Taking care of things that are right in front of me becomes the major task, like emptying the dishwasher or following up on a phone call. This evening it was putting my checkbook in order, entering checks in the register that I had put off for too long...a mindless task.

This type of a day actually feels pretty good  because there's nothing special going on; no appointments to keep, no nothing. One here and there is OK...here and there! Today, I found myself taking a few minutes to visit the two staff at the reception desk as I was leaving the nursing home. I could have just left but this day was different; something told me to spend a little time listening to them. 

So, I won't complain for this ordinary day, my ordinary schedule and my ordinary feelings.  It won't last forever and for now it all feels just OK. So, it's OK to not offer any inspirations, no fancy insights or anything else.

What's amazing is so many of you reply and share how you can relate to my everyday thoughts; that brings so much light to my journey!  Perhaps you share it on to your friend base and that tickles me pink!

So, keep up your ordinary day after you read this. Every time you share the post forward helps me to see expanded stats (which helps me know more details about my posts.) Such an easy thing to do, but a helpful move. 

A well-known TV personality shared with someone, "you are light." No matter what, we can each be "light" to another, whether we feel like it or not. So, "be light" today in whatever you do and say...someone will appreciate it!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Giraffe or Jackal?

Courtesy of Pixabay

Giraffe or Jackal? Life has a way of throwing us curveballs and we can find ourselves needing to confront or speak up in a situation.   Out of the blue life gets scrambled a bit: a favorite chair gets tossed by mistake (don't ask for those details!), the refrigerator dies, the furnace humidifier needs to be replaced, the wrong ice maker part comes meaning the wait will be longer... and just a few other things that make life interesting occur.

How does a person react to these without making a mountain out of a molehill or minimizing things that really should get a reaction? It's hard some days. I don't know about you but I'm learning. 

There are ways to communicate without resorting to either extreme.  I think of a giraffe and how gentle these animals are, however, they let the zoo keeper know his wishes in easy to understand terms. I have watched this reality on animal shows. 

Growing up some of us have learned to yell, talk over, interrupt and get aggressive in order to be "heard" but in reality a calm, quiet, yet assertive stance gets further. It's something we can all learn, no matter the past.

Non-violent communication by Rosenberg is a communication style that has impressed me. Sometimes the giraffe and Jackal are used as representatives of how we communicate and Rosenberg explains this "giraffe" language so well; consider looking it up further.

In today's environment, wouldn't it be a wonderful consideration to turn down the temperature in our language, just a bit!  The giraffe is a great example!

Courtesy of Pixabay

Synagogue

Thank God for the safety of the synagogue hostage situation this week!  Continued prayers for the healing of those involved as well as the entire congregation and law officials who responded. Even without physical wounds, the trauma will leave an impact indefinitely.  Please, let there be peace on earth...individually and collectively! 

Courtesy of Pixabay

 

Wires in Trees

Courtesy of Pixabay

Have you ever wondered how much more you can take?  This reminds me of several trees on our property.   One has a wire around it to hang three bird feeders.  The wire has been there about seventeen years and to my amazement, it has not broken as the tree grows. 

The other tree has a rubber strap I put around the trunk when it was a sapling, trying to pull it in the opposite direction. Neither strap broke, but the tree kept growing. Inspecting these straps more closely, they actually have now been incorporated into the tree; the tree bark literally wrapped itself around these straps.  

Life is sometimes like these straps.  When situations stretch us sooo severely, how  often have we said, "how much more can I take?" Or, even, "I can't take anymore."  Sometimes we think we need to do something drastic to end that pain and suffering.

Well, then others, in their upbringing that has told them, "God won't give me anymore than what I can handle" find strength there.  I don't know about you, but when I'm stretched to near breaking, God seems really far away. Well, I should say, my prayers get a whole lot shorter, like, "help!!" 

On a deeper thought, have you ever stopped long enough to ponder how those tough times have enriched your life, made you a better person or gave you more strength for new struggles?  These "wires and straps" in your various trees of life sure are there but how has your life incorporated all those experiences to help make you a better person!  It's amazing to realize there really can be a blessing to tough times! 

Trapeze

 Have you ever been to a circus and watched trapeze artists?  It's quite entertaining to see. It amazes me thinking of it. Then there is real life when it can feel as if we are on a trapeze, swinging, off the first platform but not to the opposite one, swinging, fearful of falling to the net below...if there is one! 

Quite a picture, isn't it? However, what do you do when life's challenges present circumstances that must wait for one thing or another?  Perhaps waiting for the mail to bring information, a decision from a department which is necessary before the next move, or even days to pass over a weekend in order to make a phone call to clarify a question.  It really is like swinging on one trapeze bar unable to reach the other side yet.

We have all been in similar situations, all with different details. Then we ask ourselves why we wake up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep. Our wheels are turning.

Well, what tools are in our personal toolbox to keep us grounded? Perhaps it's a good friend who is more available at this time of day, so we talk and laugh and then can fall back to sleep.  Books on tape help, but if the book is too interesting we may stay awake listening to it!  Then there is prayer.  It is wonderful to "fall asleep on the breast of God" as one retreat speaker shared many years ago. 

These are helps that can keep us strong as we are swinging on the trapeze of life, so we don't fall. So, too, it always helps to remember there is a net below.  That net is faith in God and knowing no matter what, we will be OK. 

Courtesy of Pixabay