Thundershirt

Last week there were storms in the air with lots of thunder and lightning; my cat, Pepper is terrorized by the least little noise.  I discovered the "Thundershirt" for cats so I put it on her to calm her down.  I would never have believed how effective it would be.  For weeks, her legs were "broken" in her eyes and she would be paralyzed in one spot; that has improved. At least she moves now!  Last week she must have needed my reassurance, however, because she sat and cuddled on my lap for an hour and a half! 

During this time of just holding her I thought of many things but one thing that popped into my mind was a phrase an acquaintance told me many years ago when I told her my brother in law was having heart surgery.  He had not graced the inside of a church in at least a hundred years and if he would have died during surgery, how could he make it to heaven???  What theological ideas I held many years ago!  Thank goodness I don't think that way now!  

My friend, when hearing my concerns, simply said, "Just love him!"  I looked at her bewildered, not knowing HOW to just love him.  I thought of sneaking the priest in under cover of darkness, waving some sacramental magic wand over him while he was sleeping would be the best "love" that he certainly needed!  "Just love him" she repeated, followed by, "no words, no actions, nothing...just love him." 

Then I remembered a priest friend sharing how an older, senior priest had told him that when he went to visit a dying friend who was in bed, unable to speak, he didn't know what to do.  He did hold her hand but how useless he felt not being able to "do" anything. He repeated, "I just held her hand."  The younger priest simply smiled and said, "yes!"

Today, I drove a neighbor to a town about an hour away for a very serious appointment. When she got into the car she shared her thoughts and emotions at what she heard in the appointment.  There was quite a period of time I just sat and listened, not even starting the car yet, while she talked and cried.  

Getting back to my brother in law.  Over time he eventually went to a nursing home and decided to stay there instead of going back home.  A deacon friend, when he did communion rounds there, would go visit Howard and asked if he wanted communion, but always was met with "no".  An amazing thing occurred after quite a bit of time as family and friends continued to "just love him;" he changed his mind and asked to talk with a priest.  This change of heart was an amazing thing to see but it certainly was not on my time-line, but God's.

Sleeping Cat

I often have to step back at situations and ask myself, "who's in charge here, Molly?" Sometimes I am so hell-bent-for-election on my time-line that I forget who really is in charge! So, when I have Pepper on my lap, sound asleep with her Thundershirt on and I think I am wasting time "doing nothing" I guess it really is OK to "just love her" for a while and let God love me at the same time while we do nothing during the storms of life! 

Maybe "just loving him", with no words, no expectations or anything else was like a Thundershirt for my brother in law that allowed him to know that God's love was with him no matter what.  After all, God really does know what He's doing!

Feel free to share this post with your friends and family!  If you would like to make an appointment to discuss how challenging to "just love" someone is and want to do spiritual direction with me, I can be reached at 920.793.3530. To follow my blog see:MollyLaFond.com